You’ve split up, kissed goodbye and she’sreturned your Van Halen T-shirt. So why should she be allowed back in your bed?

1 - You’re desperate
You’re back in the pick-up world, and it’s hard to compete with a ton of other boozed-up losers when all you really want is comfort sex with someone who reminds you of your ex. If she’s willing to come to the party, you can save both drink money and dignity.


2 - You know each other
Sex isn’t something you’re good or bad at — it’s something you learn with someone. Since the two of you have months of sexual history and plenty of conflict to fuel the fire, you can skip the awkward, fumbling stage and go straight to the hot lovin’.


3 - You know how she operates
Picking up a stranger is like building IKEA furniture with foreign instructions — you just don’t know how she’s put together. But your ex is a childhood Lego model you could assemble in your sleep — once you’ve got the slot lined up with the hole, it all slips into place.


4 - She knows what to expect
While other birds might baulk at your chicken legs, hunched gait or general personality, your ex is familiar with all this — she even liked it once.  You can hope she’ll still be tolerant enough of it to see her way to shagging you.


5 - It’s nostalgic
Sex releases a blast of endorphins into your system, and these will wash away all of the fights, cheating and headf**ks, and make you both remember the good, simple time when all you did was have sex and smile. It only lasts 40 minutes, but so does cocaine and you don’t see anyone turning that down.


6 - It’s less awkward
In the movies, sex is seamless and fluid. In real life, it’s a stumbling duet of awkwardness, insecurity and indecision that ruins lives and scares children. Unless you’ve practised enough to be relaxed at it — which, at least with your ex, you have.


7 - Her friends won’t bar you
Even though they hate you for breaking their girl’s heart, her friends know you’re not some crazed rapist. They’re less likely to prise her away from you than from a stranger, simply because of the shared history between you.


8 - She knows where you live
This might not seem so great at first, but think about it — if she was going to go all bunny-boiler on you, it would’ve happened already. Now that you’re in a friends-with-benefits situation, she can give you a lift home in the morning.


9 - She has that thing she does
You know the one, with the tongue and hands at the same time. That’s why she was your girlfriend and you can’t remember last Saturday’s name. And if you mention how much you liked that “thing” as part of the flirting leading to the hook-up, she’ll be sure to remember to include it.


10 - Time’s running out
Hell, tomorrow, she could be hit by a bus, and today is the only time you’ll ever have. You don’t know if she’s about to meet a putz and fall in love. So carpe the shit out of that diem, while you can.